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Entitled People Always After Me TENS Unit (Part 2)
This is a trilogy of my operating and owning my own electrode machine. This is part 2 of my trilogy so if you haven’t read part 1, I would recommend reading that one first. They’re all doozies in their own right.
A little backstory: When I was 13, I suffered from a back injury due to playing a very competitive sport. My overextension when I would shoot my shots resulted in my injury, which caused SSMS(super severe muscle spasms). The spasms were so intense, not only would I be in immense pain, but my body would paralyze itself to keep me from moving at all. Imagine the rusted Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz, or a robot that stopped working in the middle of walking or doing something. That was me and it was PAINFUL! I got better but kept an electrode machine called a TENS unit.
For over a decade, I’ve had to use the transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) machine whenever my injury would come back. Recently, I’ve had to rely on my portable one due to coronavirus keeping me at home and re-injuring myself. I’ve had some experiences with entitled people as a result of my little electrode friends.
So now that that’s over with; the cast!
ME: hello! Guess who!
Roomie: my roommate in college at the time
Britney: the entitled brat that eventually got expelled but not for this incident
Joe and Lee: the security guards and total bros to me and my friends!
Corey and Mark: football players scared of me
So part 2 takes place at my college. It’s been 7 years since I first got my TENS machine at the end of part 1 and I just turned 21 as a sophomore in college. I was homeschooled late and held back a grade, so I was older than most in my year. I didn’t have issues with my back for a few years but I brought my TENS machine to stay in my dorm room and got it approved as medical equipment by the college just in case something happened. This will be important later.
Roomie and I had been together for the first semester and going into our winter break. During Fall finals, she and I were working on a project with 3 other girls for a biology course. Turns out I sucked at bio but was good at English so I wrote up the paper and made the slides. One of the girls in the group was Britney. She was more interested in partying than studying and mainly came to our room to study because we lived next to some cute guys. She was a blonde bombshell and acted like all of the college faculty needed to bend over backwards for her. We were the poor unfortunate souls stuck with her in our group. During one of these study groups, she noticed my TENS machine. I had it next to my bed on my side table. Just to have it readily available in case something happened.
Britney: “What’s that?” Pointing at the TENS unit.
ME: “That’s my TENS unit. I use it to treat an old back injury with the electrode pads.”
Britney: “ummm, electrodes?”
Roomie rolled her eyes and I was trying hard not to do the same.
ME: “It shoots electricity to loosen muscles when you turn it on. I use it for my back injury.” I didn’t want to get into it since we were about to give a presentation in a few days and we’re not done with the project.
Britney: “Loosen muscles?” She gasped “like a massager? Can I use it? Exams have got me soooo tense!”
ME: learning from my past, “No, not a massager. It’s a medical device. And, no, you can’t use it. You’re not injured and don’t know how to use it.”
She just pouted and tried to retort but the other girls told her to get back to going over the textbook. She hadn’t expressed any interest after we finished our project together and I didn’t see her after that so I thought the matter was settled.
Or so I thought.
After exams were over, Roomie and I were leaving our dorm to enjoy winter break. Our dorm had a number code lock and I had learned that my roommate would disable the lock when she would go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She would also forget to reinitiate the lock after. I would always take it upon myself to lock the room up after her. She would always say I was paranoid and I’d always say, “you’re only paranoid if you’re wrong.” Turns out, I was never wrong. I locked the room behind us and double checked it was locked before Roomie and I left for winter break. When we came back a week or so later, all Hell broke loose.
Roomie waits for me at the airport so we can get a ride back to campus and our dorm. When we punch in the code, the lock was already open.
Roomie and I looked at each other as we hesitantly walked into the room. My bulky TENS unit is on its cart, instead of on my side table. It’s sitting in the middle of the room, not in its usual spot, covered in something sticky! Oh god!
Roomie ran to her side of the room to see most of her clothes and mine strewn about. Someone had broken into our room!
We called campus security, telling them someone had been in our room and taken things while we were on break. Joe and Lee showed up a few minutes later to investigate. I had known them from some time since I was a volunteer in the office, occasionally bringing in donuts. We had told some of the other people on the floor what happened but no one saw anything due to being on break elsewhere. As we are looking for our stuff, I check my TENS unit. There’s a note. From Britney.
I forgot what the note said but, essentially, she and a few friends borrowed my “massager” to experiment with. And wanted to wear some of our clothes for campus parties during the break. Clothes were still missing but my TENS unit was still here. But why was it sticky? I just thought, ‘please god, don’t let this stuff be what I think it is!’
I plugged it in to check, only for it to sputter and start smoking! I unplugged it and checked to see that some of the sticky stuff had gotten into the unit’s cord ports. It was short-circuiting! She broke my unit! I showed Joe and Lee the note and headed for her dorm. The security guards would meet up with us at Britney’s dorm after providing their initial report to their bosses. Roomie and I had some skirts and tops missing so we made a list of them and went to Britney’s. She didn’t answer our texts so we thought we’d see if she was in her room and avoiding us. Sure enough, she was in her dorm with a couple guys from the football team. I’ll let you imagine what they were doing but they were dressed when I knocked on the door for an explanation. She opened it to ask us what we wanted.
ME: livid “Britney, did you break into our dorm room and take our stuff without permission?”
Britney: “I didn’t break in! I saw you enter your code and needed to borrow some stuff for our parties.”
Roomie: “you didn’t think to ASK us if it was alright? Are you nuts? You took our clothes and broke her machine!” Roomie rattled off the clothes that we were missing from her phone.
At this point, Corey and Mark chimed in from Britney’s room that the Christmas and New Years parties were epic and that we missed out.
When they came out and realized it was me they were talking to, they got scared. I have a funny story about the football players at my college for a later time. But they knew they were screwed. Joe and Lee, in all their burly glory, came around the corner as Britney spoke up but stopped to listen instead of revealing themselves.
Britney: “We borrowed your massager and spilt a little beer on it. So what! It’s a cheapo plastic thing. And it hurt when i tried to use it. It’s busted anyway!”
ME, blowing up at her: “You broke my TENS unit! I use that when I’m injured to keep from being paralyzed!! What if I injured myself on break and came back to use it only to get electrocuted! You could have killed me! Or paralyzed me considering YOU. BROKE. MY. MEDICAL. EQUIPMENT!”
At this point, Corey and Mark are pale and shrinking back into the room away from the door after hearing what I said. The whole floor is hearing this with some people coming out to see the drama unfold. Everyone and the security guards heard Britney when she said.
“Ugh, stop being a drama queen. Maybe you should have electrocuted yourself! Then I wouldn’t have to listen to this shit!”
Everyone was quiet. Except for Roomie.
Roomie: “I’m so glad I decided to record this!”
We all turn to her, she was holding up her phone, still recording. Turns out she was recording the video with everything being said and she didn’t even share the plan with me. She just grinned like the Cheshire Cat as we looked at her in shock. It was amazing! She stopped recording, turned around, walked to Joe and Lee and showed it to them. You could hear everything! She texted it to the guards and me. As I’m pulling it up on my phone, Britney took my phone from my hands as it loaded the video and threw it against the wall behind me. IN. FRONT. OF. EVERYONE!
Joe called his superior while Lee tried to stop her from going after me again. Lee was a big guy and was not letting her pass as she started screaming at me and Roomie. Corey and Mark jumped into action to hold her back and told her to stop making it worse. Roomie calls the cops and we give them our statements. The cops took Britney to the station. We got our clothes back after a few days but I still didn’t have a TENS unit. A week later, the campus disciplinary committee contacted all of us to discuss the issue. They would call us all in separately to get the full story at a later time. Britney tried to say the TEMS unit and phone were hers and wanted me expelled for traumatizing her. When I got the summons letter, I knew I needed all the receipts for everything.
I roll into the meeting with all the receipts, my doctors note, my medical history, the approval from the college for my TENS unit as a medical device, etc. ready to present a case like a law student instead of the Econ major I was.
Turns out, I wasn’t in any trouble.
The college already knew the device was mine and saw the video Roomie took. Along with everyone’s testimonies, they found me in the right. They wanted to talk to me less about what had happened and more about how I wanted to move forward from the incident. I didn’t want Britney expelled because I didn’t need to feel guilty about ruining someone’s life but I wanted her to pay me back with a new TENS unit and new phone.
Her parents came to me in a meeting with the committee to discuss payment as they didn’t want their daughter charged with assault on her record but knew she was in the wrong for what she did to me. They agreed to my terms and bought me a new iPhone 6, the hottest model at the time. However, there was an issue with the TENS machine part of the terms.
Unfortunately, because I bought my TENS unit at the discounted $500 price and not the full retail price back in the day, I was given $500 instead of a new TENS unit a little more than that amount. It turned out for the best, since I found some portable TEMS units and was using one I had bought for $30.
Epilogue: Roomie and I changed our room code and eventually graduated as best friends for the crazy stuff we put up with in college together. Joe and Lee got a crazy story and would later share in my adventures in college. Corey and Mark apologized as they were the ones who spilt the beer and didn’t know the importance of the machine. They were still scared of me but I tried to be nicer whenever I saw them on campus. Not for a lack of trying.
Britney continued to study a the same college, before being expelled in her senior year for plagiarism. Just as she was about to graduate too. I’m glad I didn’t get her expelled. She was fully capable of doing it on her own!
I have grown to despise the term “massager”. My parents have a massager, an actual one. Not an electrode one. And I still cringe when I hear the word. Unfortunately, that terrible word has become a theme when it comes to my TENS units. As you’ll see in part 3.
I hope you found the first and second parts of this trilogy interesting and I will be posting part 3 as soon as possible. Let me know if you’ve had to deal with people messing with your units! Or other medical devices! I would hope it’s not common and it’s just my bad luck. But if you guys have ever had this issue, I’d love to hear about them.
Thanks for reading!
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