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I've tried EVERYTHING. This DARN Nintendo Switch Pro Controller won't connect to PC!


Hello! After plundering the darkest depths of the internet I feel as though I have tried every common (and some not so common) fixes to my Nintendo Switch Pro controller's connection problem. PLEASE HELP, I really don't want to spend money on a Xbox controller.

The Problem:

The Nintendo Switch pro controller is not being recognized by my computer, I do not get a connection sound nor a notification that a USB device has been plugged in. My computer does not have a Bluetooth card in it, so wired is the only option I have. HOWEVER, the controller does have a orange light illuminating, indicating that it is being charged.

Solutions Tried

  • Installing USB/controller Drivers. I have reinstalled them using the device manager and I have also used random USB controller drivers recommended on online forums for similar problems to mine.
  • Installing the MSI chip set drivers. I have an MSI motherboard and have installed the latest Chipset drivers for it.
  • Switching Cables. I have tried three different cables. The Nintendo provided cable, a random 3rd party cable, and this universal cable that splits into multiple connection types. This last cable is the one I used when I noticed the orange light on the cable.
  • Switching USB ports. I have tried every USB cable on my motherboard and the case USB port. For troubleshooting purposes I have kept my USB on the case USB port OR on the one that is next to the USB type c port.
  • Uninstalling USB Devices. I went into the device manager and uninstalled most of the USB devices (i stopped when I accidentally uninstalled the mouse) and restarted the computer.
  • Pressing the Sync button on the controller. Online forums seem to suggest that all you have to do is press the sync button just before or during plunging the thing in. This also does not work.
  • Restarting the Computer.
  • Switching Pro controllers. I have two, neither seem to work.
  • UPDATING WINDOWS.
  • REMOVING THE BEANS. This is food, this is beans. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HhPK8XC75A

Note: if you think my execution of these solutions is incorrect, let me know. I for sure could have messed up some steps.
Super long post. I appreciate anyone who takes their time to help or even read this post.



DXDIAG system info


System Information
------------------
Time of this report: 8/28/2020, 21:43:47
Machine name: DESKTOP-LJQO9TI
Machine Id: {218DF1E9-B216-43FD-AA83-1EC8D681DE65}
Operating System: Windows 10 Home 64-bit (10.0, Build 19041) (19041.vb_release.191206-1406)
Language: English (Regional Setting: English)
System Manufacturer: Micro-Star International Co., Ltd
System Model: MS-7C02
BIOS: 3.60 (type: UEFI)
Processor: AMD Ryzen 5 3600 6-Core Processor (12 CPUs), ~4.2GHz
Memory: 16384MB RAM
Available OS Memory: 16334MB RAM
Page File: 8031MB used, 10733MB available
Windows Dir: C:\WINDOWS
DirectX Version: DirectX 12
DX Setup Parameters: Not found
User DPI Setting: 96 DPI (100 percent)
System DPI Setting: 96 DPI (100 percent)
DWM DPI Scaling: Disabled
Miracast: Available, with HDCP
Microsoft Graphics Hybrid: Not Supported
DirectX Database Version: 1.0.8
DxDiag Version: 10.00.19041.0084 64bit Unicode

------------
DxDiag Notes
------------
Display Tab 1: No problems found.
Sound Tab 1: No problems found.
Sound Tab 2: No problems found.
Sound Tab 3: No problems found.
Input Tab: No problems found.

--------------------
DirectX Debug Levels
--------------------
Direct3D: 0/4 (retail)
DirectDraw: 0/4 (retail)
DirectInput: 0/5 (retail)
DirectMusic: 0/5 (retail)
DirectPlay: 0/9 (retail)
DirectSound: 0/5 (retail)
DirectShow: 0/6 (retail)

---------------
Display Devices
---------------
Card name: NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2060 SUPER
Manufacturer: NVIDIA
Chip type: GeForce RTX 2060 SUPER
DAC type: Integrated RAMDAC
Device Type: Full Device (POST)
Device Key: Enum\PCI\VEN_10DE&DEV_1F06&SUBSYS_13A210DE&REV_A1
Device Status: 0180200A [DN_DRIVER_LOADED|DN_STARTED|DN_DISABLEABLE|DN_NT_ENUMERATOR|DN_NT_DRIVER]
Device Problem Code: No Problem
Driver Problem Code: Unknown
Display Memory: 16197 MB
Dedicated Memory: 8031 MB
Shared Memory: 8166 MB
Current Mode: 2560 x 1440 (32 bit) (144Hz)
HDR Support: Supported
Display Topology: Internal
Display Color Space: DXGI_COLOR_SPACE_RGB_FULL_G22_NONE_P709
Color Primaries: Red(0.685547,0.308594), Green(0.264648,0.667969), Blue(0.150391,0.057617), White Point(0.313477,0.329102)
Display Luminance: Min Luminance = 0.098400, Max Luminance = 400.000000, MaxFullFrameLuminance = 343.748291
Monitor Name: Generic PnP Monitor
Monitor Model: 27GL850
Monitor Id: GSM5B7F
Native Mode: 2560 x 1440(p) (144.000Hz)
Output Type: Displayport External
Monitor Capabilities: HDR Supported (BT2020RGB BT2020YCC Eotf2084Supported )
Display Pixel Format: DISPLAYCONFIG_PIXELFORMAT_32BPP
Advanced Color: AdvancedColorSupported
Driver Name: C:\WINDOWS\System32\DriverStore\FileRepository\nv_dispi.inf_amd64_edab19158bdd0d0a\nvldumdx.dll,C:\WINDOWS\System32\DriverStore\FileRepository\nv_dispi.inf_amd64_edab19158bdd0d0a\nvldumdx.dll,C:\WINDOWS\System32\DriverStore\FileRepository\nv_dispi.inf_amd64_edab19158bdd0d0a\nvldumdx.dll,C:\WINDOWS\System32\DriverStore\FileRepository\nv_dispi.inf_amd64_edab19158bdd0d0a\nvldumdx.dll
Driver File Version: 27.21.0014.5167 (English)
Driver Version: 27.21.14.5167
DDI Version: 12
Feature Levels: 12_1,12_0,11_1,11_0,10_1,10_0,9_3,9_2,9_1
Driver Model: WDDM 2.7
Hardware Scheduling: Supported:True Enabled:False
Graphics Preemption: Pixel
Compute Preemption: Dispatch
Miracast: Not Supported
Detachable GPU: No
Hybrid Graphics GPU: Not Supported
Power P-states: Not Supported
Virtualization: Paravirtualization
Block List: No Blocks
Catalog Attributes: Universal:False Declarative:True
Driver Attributes: Final Retail
Driver Date/Size: 7/4/2020 5:00:00 PM, 1038344 bytes
WHQL Logo'd: n/a
WHQL Date Stamp: n/a
Device Identifier: {D7B71E3E-5C46-11CF-4167-AC331BC2D635}
Vendor ID: 0x10DE
Device ID: 0x1F06
SubSys ID: 0x13A210DE
Revision ID: 0x00A1
Driver Strong Name: oem5.inf:0f066de317b632f2:Section001:27.21.14.5167:pci\ven_10de&dev_1f06
Rank Of Driver: 00CF2001

-------------
Sound Devices
-------------
Description: 27GL850 (NVIDIA High Definition Audio)
Default Sound Playback: No
Default Voice Playback: No
Hardware ID: HDAUDIO\FUNC_01&VEN_10DE&DEV_0093&SUBSYS_10DE13A2&REV_1001
Manufacturer ID: N/A
Product ID: N/A
Type: N/A
Driver Name: nvhda64v.sys
Driver Version: 1.3.38.34 (English)
Driver Attributes: Final Retail
WHQL Logo'd: n/a
Date and Size: 6/7/2020 5:00:00 PM, 222112 bytes
Other Files:
Driver Provider: NVIDIA Corporation
HW Accel Level: Emulation Only
Cap Flags: 0x0
Min/Max Sample Rate: 0, 0
Static/Strm HW Mix Bufs: 0, 0
Static/Strm HW 3D Bufs: 0, 0
HW Memory: 0
Voice Management: No
EAX(tm) 2.0 Listen/Src: No, No
I3DL2(tm) Listen/Src: No, No
Sensaura(tm) ZoomFX(tm): No

Description: Speakers (7.1 Surround Sound)
Default Sound Playback: Yes
Default Voice Playback: No
Hardware ID: ROOT\RZSurround
Manufacturer ID: N/A
Product ID: N/A
Type: N/A
Driver Name: RZSurround.sys
Driver Version: 4.10.42.816 (English)
Driver Attributes: Final Retail
WHQL Logo'd: n/a
Date and Size: 9/17/2019 5:00:00 PM, 172208 bytes
Other Files:
Driver Provider: Razer
HW Accel Level: Emulation Only
Cap Flags: 0x0
Min/Max Sample Rate: 0, 0
Static/Strm HW Mix Bufs: 0, 0
Static/Strm HW 3D Bufs: 0, 0
HW Memory: 0
Voice Management: No
EAX(tm) 2.0 Listen/Src: No, No
I3DL2(tm) Listen/Src: No, No
Sensaura(tm) ZoomFX(tm): No

Description: Speakers (High Definition Audio Device)
Default Sound Playback: No
Default Voice Playback: Yes
Hardware ID: HDAUDIO\FUNC_01&VEN_10EC&DEV_0892&SUBSYS_1462EC02&REV_1003
Manufacturer ID: N/A
Product ID: N/A
Type: N/A
Driver Name: HdAudio.sys
Driver Version: 10.0.19041.264 (English)
Driver Attributes: Final Retail
WHQL Logo'd: n/a
Date and Size: 5/8/2020 5:00:00 PM, 430080 bytes
Other Files:
Driver Provider: Microsoft
HW Accel Level: Emulation Only
Cap Flags: 0x0
Min/Max Sample Rate: 0, 0
Static/Strm HW Mix Bufs: 0, 0
Static/Strm HW 3D Bufs: 0, 0
HW Memory: 0
Voice Management: No
EAX(tm) 2.0 Listen/Src: No, No
I3DL2(tm) Listen/Src: No, No
Sensaura(tm) ZoomFX(tm): No

---------------------
Sound Capture Devices
---------------------
Description: Microphone (High Definition Audio Device)
Default Sound Capture: Yes
Default Voice Capture: Yes
Driver Name: HdAudio.sys
Driver Version: 10.0.19041.264 (English)
Driver Attributes: Final Retail
Date and Size: 5/8/2020 5:00:00 PM, 430080 bytes
Cap Flags: 0x0
Format Flags: 0x0

---------------------
Video Capture Devices
Number of Devices: 0
---------------------
-------------------
DirectInput Devices
-------------------
Device Name: Mouse
Attached: 1
Controller ID: n/a
VendoProduct ID: n/a
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: Keyboard
Attached: 1
Controller ID: n/a
VendoProduct ID: n/a
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: HID-compliant consumer control device
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0306
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: Razer Basilisk
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: Razer Basilisk
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: Razer Basilisk
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: Razer Basilisk
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: HID-compliant consumer control device
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: USB DEVICE
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x0C45, 0x5004
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: USB DEVICE
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x0C45, 0x5004
FF Driver: n/a

Device Name: USB DEVICE
Attached: 1
Controller ID: 0x0
VendoProduct ID: 0x0C45, 0x5004
FF Driver: n/a

Poll w/ Interrupt: No

-----------
USB Devices
-----------
+ USB Root Hub (USB 3.0)
| VendoProduct ID: 0x1022, 0x149C
| Matching Device ID: USB\ROOT_HUB30
| Service: USBHUB3
| Driver: USBHUB3.SYS, 5/10/2020 22:39:47, 647992 bytes
+-+ USB Composite Device
| | VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
| | Location: Port_#0001.Hub_#0003
| | Matching Device ID: USB\COMPOSITE
| | Service: usbccgp
| | Driver: usbccgp.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 186376 bytes
| |
| +-+ USB Input Device
| | | VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
| | | Location: 0028.0000.0003.001.000.000.000.000.000
| | | Matching Device ID: USB\Class_03&SubClass_01
| | | Service: HidUsb
| | | Driver: hidusb.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 44032 bytes
| | | Driver: hidclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 225792 bytes
| | | Driver: hidparse.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46080 bytes
| | |
| | +-+ Razer Basilisk
| | | | VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
| | | | Matching Device ID: HID\VID_1532&PID_0064&MI_00
| | | | Upper Filters: RzDev_0064
| | | | Service: mouhid
| | | | Driver: RzDev_0064.sys, 2/17/2020 08:26:06, 52288 bytes
| | | | Driver: mouhid.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 35328 bytes
| | | | Driver: mouclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 67600 bytes
| | |
| +-+ Razer Basilisk
| | | VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
| | | Location: 0028.0000.0003.001.000.000.000.000.000
| | | Matching Device ID: USB\VID_1532&PID_0064&MI_01
| | | Lower Filters: RzDev_0064
| | | Service: HidUsb
| | | Driver: RzDev_0064.sys, 2/17/2020 08:26:06, 52288 bytes
| | | Driver: hidusb.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 44032 bytes
| | | Driver: hidclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 225792 bytes
| | | Driver: hidparse.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46080 bytes
| | |
| | +-+ Razer Basilisk
| | | | VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
| | | | Matching Device ID: HID\VID_1532&PID_0064&MI_01&Col01
| | | | Upper Filters: RzDev_0064
| | | | Service: kbdhid
| | | | Driver: RzDev_0064.sys, 2/17/2020 08:26:06, 52288 bytes
| | | | Driver: kbdhid.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46592 bytes
| | | | Driver: kbdclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 71480 bytes
| | |
| +-+ Razer Basilisk
| | | VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
| | | Location: 0028.0000.0003.001.000.000.000.000.000
| | | Matching Device ID: usb\vid_1532&pid_0064&mi_02
| | | Service: HidUsb
| | | Driver: RzS3WizardPkgS3.exe, 6/10/2020 01:07:28, 3970056 bytes
| | | Driver: hidusb.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 44032 bytes
| | | Driver: hidclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 225792 bytes
| | | Driver: hidparse.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46080 bytes
| | | Driver: RazerS3Coinstaller.dll, 6/10/2020 01:06:44, 79376 bytes
| | |
| | +-+ HID Keyboard Device
| | | | VendoProduct ID: 0x1532, 0x0064
| | | | Matching Device ID: HID_DEVICE_SYSTEM_KEYBOARD
| | | | Service: kbdhid
| | | | Driver: kbdhid.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46592 bytes
| | | | Driver: kbdclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 71480 bytes
| |
+-+ USB Composite Device
| | VendoProduct ID: 0x0C45, 0x5004
| | Location: Port_#0002.Hub_#0003
| | Matching Device ID: USB\COMPOSITE
| | Service: usbccgp
| | Driver: usbccgp.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 186376 bytes
| |
| +-+ USB Input Device
| | | VendoProduct ID: 0x0C45, 0x5004
| | | Location: 0028.0000.0003.002.000.000.000.000.000
| | | Matching Device ID: USB\Class_03&SubClass_01
| | | Service: HidUsb
| | | Driver: hidusb.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 44032 bytes
| | | Driver: hidclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 225792 bytes
| | | Driver: hidparse.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46080 bytes
| | |
| | +-+ HID Keyboard Device
| | | | VendoProduct ID: 0x0C45, 0x5004
| | | | Matching Device ID: HID_DEVICE_SYSTEM_KEYBOARD
| | | | Service: kbdhid
| | | | Driver: kbdhid.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46592 bytes
| | | | Driver: kbdclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 71480 bytes
| | |
| +-+ USB Input Device
| | | VendoProduct ID: 0x0C45, 0x5004
| | | Location: 0028.0000.0003.002.000.000.000.000.000
| | | Matching Device ID: USB\Class_03&SubClass_01
| | | Service: HidUsb
| | | Driver: hidusb.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 44032 bytes
| | | Driver: hidclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 225792 bytes
| | | Driver: hidparse.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46080 bytes
| | |
| | +-+ HID Keyboard Device
| | | | VendoProduct ID: 0x0C45, 0x5004
| | | | Matching Device ID: HID_DEVICE_SYSTEM_KEYBOARD
| | | | Service: kbdhid
| | | | Driver: kbdhid.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 46592 bytes
| | | | Driver: kbdclass.sys, 12/7/2019 02:07:56, 71480 bytes
submitted by OptimalYogurt to pcgamingtechsupport

Economic Symbiogenesis

Visuals
Economic Evolution Thomas J Novak
Disclaimers 1. I wish to contend that Micro and Macro Economics each constitute a hidden branch of evolution. To be clear, I’m not arguing for an analogy, ​I’m arguing each branch is an evolutionary process; and with this comes the mathematical framework needed to scientifically ​objectify success (major goal for every Capitalist). 2. The quantitative aspects are partially rooted in Game Theoretic Evolution. I do not expect this theory will garner majority support or ​understanding. It is only an esoteric theoretical ideal; but it is my hope that this will gradually change until one-day we have a Utopia. 3. The mechanism is voluntary through rational self-incentives. It advocates for a change in perspective for optimal decision making purposes. 4. Dollars and other fiat currencies are still completely necessary. Fiat currency constitutes a valuable technology that eliminates the need for ​bartering, yielding considerable savings in life’s prime asset - TIME. 5. I apologize to the reader in advance for the long essay. I hope it is "worth" your time.
Key Conclusions
Present day humanity is full of capitalists that have the right idea but are missing some key math. This is causing them to behave inefficiently in the context of their own self-interests. Ideal Capitalism is Pareto Optimal and should be practiced by all; and it should lead to maximal economic growth. I also wish to conjecture that a new Nash Equilibrium is available to our race: Perpetual peacetime under the individual Pareto Optimal Strategy of Ideal Capitalism as every individual looks to maximize their self-fortune and troll farms are voluntarily dismantled. If this sounds too good to be true, note that it very well may have been for all of human-history save the last few decades. Key developments are nuclear weapons and the internet. Discussed more in the last section.
Introduction
The "science" of Economics is not yet a science. Don't get me wrong - micro-economics is just about there; but macro-econ is a totally different story. Some call it “The Dismal Science” because it makes many quantitative claims that are inconsistent with empirical data. An example is the claim that John Rockefeller’s fortune could be made comparable to contemporary fortunes by adjusting his dollars for inflation and real growth. In fact only adjusting his hours for real growth does the trick.
In general macro-econ has a zero-sum-dollar-centric structure that does not allow for input of things like maternity and child rearing - two fundamentally "valuable" human activities. Another problem is that planetary-wide risks like war, (and that which is assured by "Mutually Assured Destruction" (MAD)), are not naturally measurable in dollars.
Some concepts from financial mathematics and science can generalize economic measurements into a co-compatible theory that almost seems too simple to be necessary. Basic results agree with common sense in every way. Some conclusions are so obvious the calculation seems pointless. Others might be beyond common sense similar to the notion that the Earth on which one walks is anything but flat. The former supports credence for the latter. All examples of human stupidity supports a need for all of it.
Ideal Capitalism
Most powers past through present can be thought cold, "calculating”, and self-interested; and most presently embrace association with Capitalism. Paradoxically, human history, (even recent), is a litany of fighting and stupidity and hurt feelings. These are inefficiencies from the Capitalist perspective, so something must be wrong with these “calculations”.
The argument will start with a Micro-Economic exercise intended to provide quantitative framework to measure just how unCapitalistic many present-day capitalists are acting, by unitizing all their actions in a scientific manner. Any Capitalist wishing to maximize their net-worth will be made more materialistically rich simply by maintaining complete indifference about others, understanding the entire picture, and trusting numbers. Wall Street can confirm this is its goal.
“Complete indifference” means precisely 0 concern for anything other than material-self-worth and 100% concern for material-self-worth. Nonzero concern for others, positive or negative, is suboptimal since it distracts from the objective of maximizing self-worth. Footnote 1: “Others” does not include the friends and family category. All intentional altruism can be represented easily by having those individuals' interests summed and grouped together so as to be viewed as part of the Capitalist’s “self-interest”. All reasoning forward is unaffected by how many friends and family are now implied to be included.
The results can empower all decision makers to calculate in the only way possible: with actual mathematics. The numbers will sometimes disagree with intuition; but the numbers will always be correct. The optimal strategy will hardly change except for sufficiently wealthy individuals. The proof can be seen empirically by back-testing the model in history on the domain in which all success is measured: quality-weighted-time (qwt). The definition of qwt will leverage Game Theoretic Evolution and is discussed more below.
Some conclusions may be counterintuitive similar to the way natural selection favored Symbiogenesis; but maximum profit calls for absolute “trust” in numbers above all else - exactly as exhibited in microbial evolution. Any call for “selfless” acting resulting in benefits to others is strictly incidental; and any less is unselfishly selfish in that it renders this inefficient capitalist less wealthy than maximally possible.
Step 1 - Any political bias about aiding others should be deleted. An “Ideal Capitalist” expresses precisely 0 concern for others and what others think - no more, no less. As long as an individual is correctly acting in their own best interests, they are acting as a Capitalist. Contra-positively one can claim to be a capitalist and act inefficiently against their own interests as many “capitalists” will be shown are doing today. I suggest a new term “Maximalist” to mean an Ideal Capitalist and avoid the need for case sensitivity.
Step 2 - Success Spawns Success. What is meant by quality-weighted-time? The definition comes from the only objective arbiter possible: Evolution through Survival of the Fittest. Something is “fit”, or “successful”, if it results in more quantity (Q) or more quality (q), where more quality means it produced more Quantity faster - which renders it more successful. This is The Tautology of Evolutionary Game Theory (The Tautology). For any evolutionary process, quantity is the metric which quantifies success. Quality is measured in quantity per unit of time (q=Q/t). Note that multiplying q=Q/t with t yields Q=qwt: the metric of success that necessarily satisfies The Tautology. Footnote 2: The word “tautology” is meant in the propositional logic sense. No negative connotation should be inferred.
Step 3 - How to connect economics with evolution?
Micro-economic decision strategy for trading time (t) for dollars ($), (or $ for t), amounts to a “phenotype”, (or observable trait), coded for by genetics inherited or mutated, and ideas learned or created. Respectively: - Inherited genetics constrain every rational human to be “risk averse”, regardless of self-perception, because natural selection favored and continues to favor risk aversion. Defined below and proven further below. - Mutated genes are almost never favorable for a human so this case will be discarded (although this force is quite powerful over quintillions of human-hours). - Richard Dawkins creatively postulated ideas to be “memes”: new evolutionarily viable packets of information, subject to selection forces, as they spread from person to person with varying levels of success overtime. Respectively gene inheritance and mutation is analogous to meme learning and creation. Furthermore the economy can be seen as a subsection of the biosphere governed primarily by evolution through forces of selection. The economy evolves through selection of both genes and memes, and memes are more abstract; but this should not change anything about the evolutionary game theory. After all humanity itself is naturally occurring, so Artificial Selection of Genes and Memes can be seen as a more complex extended phenotype coded for by the evolution of genes through Natural Selection. Any argument that “Artificial Selection” constitutes a meaningful difference from “Natural Selection” must first come to terms with the observation that humanity is itself, naturally occurring.
Step 4 - What is the definition of “risk averse”? The mathematical definition of risk averse simply requires diminishing returns to be experienced on assets like dollars. For example: an additional $1M adds less “utility” if you presently have $2B, compared to if you presently have $2M. If a person is not risk averse, then more success encourages more risky behavior. This is inconsistent with the observation that more success means one has more to lose. Therefore any risk-inclined individual cannot be an Ideal Capitalist as they will almost surely go broke gambling.
Step 5 - What is “utility”? Utility is the abstract micro-economic concept that, by definition, quantifies value. The unsettled question of how to actually do this is addressed below.
Total Utility = True Material Self-Worth = “well-offness”. All have one-to-one correspondence with each other. All are “mutually inclusive”. For example: twice the quantity of utility, by definition, means twice material self-worth; and so, the individual is exactly twice better-off. Diminishing returns do not apply to quantities of utility.
Step 6 - How to define an objective function to maximize utility? Per Wikipedia: “Consider a set of alternatives facing an individual, and over which the individual has a preference ordering. A ‘utility function’ is able to represent those preferences if it is possible to assign a real number to each alternative, in such a way that alternative A is assigned a number greater than alternative B if, and only if, the individual prefers alternative A to alternative B.”
Keynote: dollars are not material wealth, dollars buy material wealth, with diminishing returns, limited by genes, memes, and the quality and Quantity of the Marketplace (respectively qQMP).
To illustrate this, consider how rich you would be with $1T cash on Mars in the present day marketplace. Personally as an oxygen breathing Capitalist, I would view my self-worth as constituting a liability - measurable in my personal subjective frame of reference in units of time, weighted by some self-knowable quality of life representing the quantity of misery per hour that I experience dying alone. Presently the quality of the marketplace on Mars is exactly 0 because 0 quantity is available for purchase. Footnote 3: The quality of life purchasable given the Time and Place is shown below to be bounded from above, although it is by no means bounded from below.
Back to Earth. If sufficiently rich, then maximizing material wealth calls for buying everything in desired amounts to maximize present quality of Life (qoL), holding ample dollars in reserve to spend on future qoL (like new inventions) and future quantity (like new medicine), and allocating the rest to increase future qQ which is not presently available for purchase. In keeping with The Tautology, qoL enhancements will provide for faster consumption of Quantity (Q=qwt). Note how perfectly this fits with The Tautology.
Ideally a good Capitalist with sufficient dollars would employ a strategy so as to maximize qoL at every point in time by exhausting most/all dollars by death. Any argument that an individual cannot meaningfully increase future qQMP fails. As an example: a medical breakthrough for genetic predispositions could yield considerably more time for any one capitalist, with expected returns modeled via actuarial mathematics. Consider just how far Humanity has come since the birth of The Enlightenment - it is easy to see how the not-so-distant future may include considerably more qQoL for sale. (Conversely the future may include far less qQoL if macro-decision-public-policy modeling continues to fail to quantify/unitize the cost of war - discussed more in the Macro Economic qwt section below.)
qQ enhancements, although more subjective, can be substantially accelerated by one talented individual. Examples include Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk. All are responsible for inventing and/or producing new things which I personally enjoy - the qQoL that I can purchase is greater as a result of their work. My time and money could not purchase such things if they were not invented. As discussed next, micro-economic quality weights are quality of Life (qoL) weights. They have an upper bound that can be “objectively” unitized and measured by the self-interested party's own frame of reference.
Step 7 - How can an individual objectively define an upper bound for these inherently subjective quality weights with any mathematical rigor? Is it possible that more dollars does not always result in more utility? Yes!
Proof Reductio ad Absurdum
Ripping off an idea from one of the greatest thinkers ever - I propose a financial thought experiment: pretend it is possible for you to pause all of society and gamble once at the “Name Your Winnings Casino”.
Here you can choose entering into an even bet: 50% of the time you win the largest number of dollars you can mathematically express = $P; or 50% of the time you suffer absolute ruin: the casino takes everything of material value and your dollars and returns you to the real world where no insurance policies exist for you and no friends or family are able to ease your loss by lending a couch to sleep on or pulling strings for a job offeinterview. If you lose you reenter the world a naked homeless person “worth” exactly $0.
Four observations follow:
  1. The decision to bet is made independent of any consideration of others, consistent with the Ideal Capitalist.
  2. Any sane human with the smallest capacity for self-honestly could conservatively estimate a walk-away number A, (denominated in dollars), such that if present “net worth” is greater than $A then no bet.
  3. No rational person choosing to bet would play more than once because either they’d lose or they’d win $P and have received the payout they named. “Letting it ride” constitutes an obviously dumb decision born out of the unwillingness to simply express the larger number in the first bet; however, a risk-inclined individual always values more over what they have and so they would be compelled to keep betting. Therefore rationality is mutually exclusive with risk-inclination. Furthermore if the betting person is risk averse, then $A is strictly less than $P for some minimum value of $P.
  4. Some confident rational individual might argue no such number $A exists for them because they’re so good they can start all over if they lose and earn a new fortune; and it would at first glance seem this individual is correct.
Many logical conclusions result:
A. An honest estimate for $A irrefutably reveals a hidden upper bound for this individual’s “Utility Curve”. Specifically if the function A’($A) = A’ maps to utility derived by $A dollar denominated “wealth”, then no amount of dollars even exists for this individual to choose to bet. Mathematically: “Net worth” > “Bet value” => “Net worth” > “50% times upside minus 50% times downside” => A’($A) > .5A’($A+$P) - .5A’($A) => 1.5A’($A) > .5A’($A+$P) => 3A’($A) > A’($A+$P) for all values of $P (The left hand-side must be greater or the bet would not be declined by a rational individual.)
B. 3A’ is not presently purchasable with any amount of dollars. 3A’ may be purchased in some future marketplace, (possibly with less than A future dollars), in the form of a medical breakthrough or buying future children birthday presents, but it is not currently purchasable in the present as demonstrated by the individual’s refusal to bet. Conversely A future dollars may lose “purchasing power” of just A’ if the future marketplace is inferior. Therefore true material-worth is fundamentally a function of the marketplace and cannot even be expressed in terms of dollars.
C. Most choosing to bet would logically express the upside payout $P as a sequence of 9s. Many more would know to use powers of powers. Knowledge of Knuth’s Up Arrow Notation could simultaneously save time and yield considerably “more upside”. Due consideration for exactly how much time should be spent writing out fantastically large numbers reveals an irrefutably objective hidden limiting factor: this person’s lifetime - measurable in units of time. This reveals one of two hidden domains on which value must be measured - TIME!
D. From this it directly follows that the confident individual in (4) is wrong. Some number $A<$P must exist, EVEN FOR THEM. However this individual is sure $A doesn’t and keeps writing numbers out for $P until they die. Therefore $A for them equals the number they have written out at time of death, never having played the game. I believe this is the definition of a Darwinian unfit capitalist - completely inconsistent with the Ideal Capitalist.
Analysis
The argument above establishes a horizontal bound for utility – lifetime measurable in units of time. It also establishes a finite upper bound for utility itself (represented by the area of the “utility rectangle” - see spreadsheet). This implies a finite upper bound for the rectangle’s height must exist; and this is empirically supported by the observation that billionaires are not known to blow through their life fortune in any short-period of time.
So why does any sufficiently wealthy capitalist focus on earning more dollars and die before exhausting most/all of their dollars (last death if family inheritance involved)? If sufficiently wealthy, material wealth is necessarily a bounded function of The Time Period, or the “quality and Quantity of the Marketplace”. TTP = qQMP >= qQoL. In other words, the marketplace itself is secretly an asset for every Capitalist!
qMP(TTP) = Max quality of life, or “max utility per hour” available for purchase in TTP QMP(TTP) = Max Quantity of life, or “max utility” for purchase in TTP (IE a longer vacation or medicine)
Thus on the micro level, quality weights are utility weights; and utility weights are capped by The Time Period. Thus it is the case that for every (finite) individual, a finite upper bound for utility is self-measurable in Time Period-Weighted Time (qwt = TPWT). For example: 2020 hours have far more value to any sufficiently rational and wealthy individual (SRWI) than 1920 hours. And as the earlier questionnaire (hopefully) shows, this is realizable by most middle-class people today. In other words, today’s middle class is sufficiently wealthy to the extent TPWT resolves the Rockefeller paradox. Footnote8: The size of the middle class itself is unfortunately shrinking. This has potential to result in negative externalities for all.
Since an Ideal Capitalist maximizes self-material-wealth above all else, then if they were also sufficiently wealthy, they would measure value in Time-Period-Weighted Hours since they would always purchase maximum utility per hour. This is by definition, since any SRWI has all necessary means to purchase max utility available per hour. (Note just how important quick access to true information would be.) Footnote 9: Neuroscience could use Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) to objectively measure the Micro-Economic utility unit as “Neurotransmitter-Molecular-Count Weighted Hours”. Consideration for how to weight different neurotransmitters (like Serotonin vs Dopamine) would be necessary. For now, we are all similar enough for “time” to suffice, at least for short run measurements. For example: what is the penalty for severe crimes? “Time in jail” or death (all the person’s time).
Quantifying the Marketplace
Given the average life expectancy now is more than twice that of prehistoric man, the marketplace itself is worth strictly more than 50% of any sufficiently wealthy individual’s “asset portfolio”. Just note “time is money”. Footnote 10: They need not be rational to "realize" this time, so long as their doctor is sufficiently competent. "Realization" will come in the form of living longer, quite consistent with the accounting definition of gain/loss realization.
Keynote - a Maximalist will do more than just maximize present qQ purchased. They will also divert unneeded dollars to maximize future qQMP so that more qQ is available for purchase. Thus the Maximalist calculation includes due consideration for additional dollars that will be needed given future qQ becomes available.
Squaring Theory with Reality
Most already know most of this, at least on the common-sense level. So why don’t sufficiently wealthy Capitalists invest maximum dollars with less strings attached to maximize the future? Is it because that would help everyone else and constitute socialism? No! In this context socialism is Adam Smith’s “Invisible Hand”. A good Capitalist aims for precisely 0 concern about others, and any concern for implied socialism would constitute nonzero concern. Such concern would amount to incomprehensible irrationality far beneath any good Capitalist. So what else could it be?
Perhaps it’s simply the fact that much of humanity is still measuring their net-worth in the wrong dimension for the inefficient purpose of feeling superior to others with less money. Anyone currently doing this quite literally knows the price of everything and the value of nothing, not even their own self fortune, because they are using the wrong dimension of measurement. quality-weighted-time is the objectively correct way in which real value should be measured, and quality weighting is limited only by The Time Period in which time and money are being spent.
More noteworthy, any human mistaking dollars for qwt for this scorekeeping reason is still violating the prime rule of being a good Capitalist - they are demonstrating nonzero-concern for what others think of them. Implicitly and inefficiently, these individuals are expressing negative concern for others, as now is measurable by how worse off they are in units of their time. Specifically this is calculable as the opportunity cost of not investing more dollars for an enhanced future marketplace, measurable by others in said marketplace by the cost to this imperfect capitalist’s life expectancy, (all unitized in units of time).
Equity Miracle Swap Instruments
Perhaps the above explanations are not exhaustive of the full truth. Maybe some sufficiently wealthy Capitalists simply do not have the means to invest their dollars in a way that can reliably pay greater dividends. Therefore I propose a new type of financial derivative instrument called an “Equity Miracle Swap”. These would be voluntarily issued as contracts from the mega-wealthy. Here is a hypothetical example:
Rational (and thus risk averse) Billionaire-G (BG) possessing $100B in dollar-denominated-capital can now do research and will likely find they are genetically predisposed to a (presently) incurable illness (let’s say Small Cell Lung Cancer = SCLC). BG could use the chancy math in the proof above and might determine that Billions $91-$100 have minimal true value to him/herself when converted to qwt. Therefore BG could decide to start up an enterprise to find a cure for SCLC and use a $10B Equity Miracle Swap = EMSSCLC-$10B, or just “EMS” for short. The purpose is to maximally incent the researchers, who might otherwise just be employees. The contract would stipulate that all equity in the enterprise transfers over to the research team only upon successful development of the cure.
When measured in dollars, the payoff for BG is represented by the performance of the stock, which is greater than -$10B if no cure; or -$10B if the miracle cure is found. The former is greater than the latter. Which do you think BG will prefer? Obviously the latter, especially if they wind up contracting SCLC in the future! But the former was greater measured in dollars? How to reconcile?
This can be quantitatively reconciled by using the correct unit of measurement - qwt. Here is how: the newly discovered cure might empower their remaining dollars to purchase considerably more qwt in the future. The real expected return on investment for BG could be calculated actuarially as follows: Expected ROI = { Expected Return }/{ Investment } = { E(Δqwt | Miracle) * [ P(Miracle | EMS) - P(Miracle | no EMS) ] }/{ A’($100B) - A’($90B) } Where: 1. A’($D) maps to utility measured in quality-weighted-time presently purchasable by D dollars 2. E(Δqwt | Miracle) = Expected change in purchasable qwt given miracle cure occurs in lifetime 3. P(Miracle | Event X) = Probability of Miracle given Event X
Note that because BG is risk averse, diminishing returns render billions $91-$100 worth very little qwt. Therefore the cost in the denominator = A’($100B) - A’($90B) constitutes a very small amount of qwt, rendering the expected ROI very large, even for relatively small changes to P(Miracle). Obviously the lawyers could tinker with the terms of the contract. Finally note that society is incidentally made better off if the cure is found.
Macro-Economic qwt
Please now consider the benefit of a qwt-centric model from a Macro-Economic standpoint in the context of the Doomsday Clock, where as always, economics can objectively measure value (or “GDP”) in units of quality-weighted-time. On this Macro scale, the quantity unit will be "Healthy Human Hours", calculated as always by multiplying quality weights of presently healthy humans, with units of time, where any human is healthy if he/she produces more future human hours. Note how naturally maternity and child-raising now fit into GDP.
This may also help resolve the argument over which crimes should be punishable with incarceration - specifically only crimes where the individual is deemed likely to contribute less negative future qwt to GDP when in jail vs when out of jail. Also there is a natural extension of this for the death penalty, although I do not wish to make such moral judgements. Footnote 10: Any argument that population overgrowth leads to mass death is correct. Policy models need only step back and estimate healthy human hours in the more distant future. Calculus can be used to model public policy decisions from present-day infinitely far into the future and compare infinite relativities for different policy options.
Also consider that actuarial modeling could be used to objectively estimate the cost of disinformation posed to every Capitalist on the planet, measurable of course, in units of time. Specifically calculated as expected changes to Humanity’s Expectation of Life on the Doomsday Clock, plus individual life expectancy given Midnight, times the probability of midnight. Also observe the need and means for due discount in modeling the "decrease" in the future qQMP (which might include radiation).
The Emergence of Economic Symbiogenesis
Try to arrive at the conclusion any good Capitalist must. Here is a hint - genetic Symbiogenesis resulted in the planetary-wide cooperation of all plant and animal life to regulate Earth’s Oxygen concentration. Note the immense success is, of course, measured in qwt. Weighting in this context needs to satisfy the same tautology as always. Therefore the final answer on this Mega-Macro scale comes in organism-count-weighted units of time. This is the current game strategy that genetic Evolution has concluded on Earth to date. It came from pitting individual selfish microbial interests against one another in the 0-rules game of survival of the fittest. The result is the current marriage between the Plant and Animal Kingdoms! (Like all great marriages there are still a few mentionable skirmishes.)
Also observe the micro-macro relational analogue between Chloroplasts and Mitochondria with Plants and Animals. Consider how this might analogize individual decision making with the marketplace as a whole.
If you are religious, consider just how correct this implies your understanding of God’s wish for the general wellbeing of every individual to be.
My conclusion is that there is a trail of breadcrumbs for our species to follow and we’ve had the right idea all along. We’ve just been doing the math wrong. Now every decision maker can better understand how to measure their own self-fortune and get to growing it faster!
Also interesting is the game theoretic argument for why every person must be allowed full forgiveness - it is the only way world leaders who are concerned for their own wellbeing could possibly embrace such a model. Astonishingly full forgiveness is 100% consistent with every major religion’s claim of what God hopes all of us can achieve. In economics, any desire for revenge can now be seen as The Sunk Cost Fallacy, measurable as always in units of qwt.
Finally, I wish to conjecture that a new Nash Equilibrium is available to our race: Perpetual peacetime under the individual Pareto Optimal Strategy of Ideal Capitalism as every individual looks to maximize their self-fortune and troll farms are voluntarily dismantled. If this sounds too good to be true, note that it very well may have been for all of human-history save the last few decades.
Key Technological Developments 1. The advent of nuclear weapons which align all of humanity's interests in a way which never used to exist. Even survivors of a nuclear war will be far worse off, now as measurable by decreases to the quality and Quantity of any future radioactive marketplace. Less qwt for purchase! 2. The advent of the internet renders information around the globe nearly free and instantaneous. If we can learn to be more self-interested, the only conclusion which rationally follows is to dismantle all troll farms for the simple purpose of maximizing Macro Time until Doomsday. The New Nash Equilibrium available to our race could be quantitatively modeled with actuarial techniques, and the optimal solution is to push Midnight infinitely far into the future by allowing every rational decision maker the means to make rational decisions with 100% true information. The internet sets up a worldwide analogy with our nervous system.
Footnote 11 - The Micro-Economic Model is now consistent with John Lennon's definition of life success: happiness. When asked what he wanted to “be” when he grew up, John responded "happy". John’s teacher thought he misunderstood the question. If John's teacher had instead followed up with the question to quantify: "How happy do you want to be?" - John could have replied: "as happy as possible for all my years.”
Footnote 12 - Warren Buffet's advice to "do what you love so you never work a day in your life" is quantified naturally by the model. I hope that more will start to take this advice. The qwt-centric-micro-model shows they will quite literally be made richer as a result. Given that richer people tend to contribute more to GDP, society will be made incidentally better off as a result. Star Trek almost had it but missed two words: “we work to better ourselves, and incidentally, the rest of mankind”.
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